Monday, October 08, 2012

Dear Eva...

Dear Eva,

Someday I believe you'll read this.  You will wonder at the world and what it could have been before you.  And I will tell you, there was a missing piece in it that wasn't filled until we had you.  Our rainbow after the storm, our star.  Evangeline, we wanted you so.  We prayed for you every day while you were growing beneath my heart.  Before you were born we loved you.

And then you came and joy was multiplied.

Your sister's eyes shone when they met you at first.  Sarah was shy, Josie was excited.  A tiny one, a dark one, so like Marie and yet entirely your own self.

And Daddy... In his strong arms, in his kind hands, Daddy held you so tightly.  And I could see the love he has for you shining from him. 

Over the last year you have grown!  We see Marie in you, and I hope that as you age that is a comfort.  Even though you never walked together in this world I think your souls must know each other.  The nurse told me when you were born, while I cried with all the emotions of a mother holding her child for the first time in her arms that surely you left Heaven with a kiss from your sister on your cheek.  I don't know if that is true, but I know that the heart knows what the heart knows.  I hope that as you age you feel the blessing that your resembling Marie has been to us.  It helps us to feel she is not so far away. Some concrete proof that she was, because you look so like her.
You are always ready with a smile, always quick to snuggle into arms.  You laugh often, filled with joy daily.  You love your sisters and follow them from place to place.  You adore Daddy, chattering to him on the telephone.  Your first words, "Daddy", "Hi, Daddy".  You spend hours at the window watching the dog outside, you do not like it if he comes to close.
There are so many who love you, so many who have delighted in watching your first year in this world...  We are blessed to have you sweet Evangeline.  Happy Birthday Lulu, we love you!


Tuesday, October 02, 2012

Rain, and hope.

Nearly done, nearly done, NEARLY DONE! Today Luke is almost done sowing wheat.  One more quarter.  One. More. F'ing. Quarter.

I do love fall.  But this has been a long September.  After Sarah's birthday and Marie's day Luke was in the field.  He prepared fields for planting and going on hope and prayer (because there has been no measurable rain for months) he started sowing.  You sow wheat, you plant corn.  I learned that very early on in my journey as a farmer's wife.

Anyway, he started sowing.  Then we had to stop and harvest millet.  A blessing to have a crop but to be honest it was kind of pathetic.  Fifteen bushels per acre is nothing.  At least it was there but it was a terrible yield.  Mama got to be in the grain-cart.  This means that I scrambled to find childcare and spent the day in a tractor only to come home and do all that mommy stuff I didn't get done all day.  After millet we drilled some more wheat.  And then we stopped to harvest corn.  Corn harvest is supposed to happen in October, but, there's a drought and it's early.  God was good and the corn yielded a bit better than we had hoped.  44 bushels per acre on dry-land corn.  Good, average yields are about 120 bushels per acre, but in this drought year we are grateful for what we get.  Corn harvest brought more tractor time, more scramble to find childcare, more cranky girls because they are totally not used to me being gone.  We finished corn, he went back to sowing wheat.  And tomorrow, by grace, he will be done.  Hallelujah.

I would love to have that guy home for a day...

And this Friday there is a 30 percent chance of rain and snow.  It is a better chance than we have had for awhile.  We need moisture to get the wheat up, moisture so that it will grow and not starve for water and die off.  A nice cold snowy winter so that it is cold in the ground and we get a good stand (healthy plant) next spring.  Will you join me in prayer?

Lord, Let is rain!  Let it snow! You know the time it will come, and the reason for this dry season, but we ask you send moisture!  Love you Lord!  Amen.

In other news, I will have a one year old next week.  Totally mind blowing.  And she learned how to drink from a straw yesterday!  And Sarah has her first day of dance class today.  My littlest girls are growing up...

I am also going to make apple butter tomorrow.