Friday, September 30, 2011

Fingerprint Friday... Photos.

Please continue to pray for Abigail!  Her mom Clarissa posted an update.

There is a song by Steven Curtis Chapman that says: 
I can see the fingerprints of god
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of god
And I know its true
You're a masterpiece
That all creation quietly applauds
And you're covered with the fingerprints of god
So look around you and see where YOU can see God's fingerprints. Is it in nature? Kids? Animals? Where do you see them? Visit The Rusted Chain to join. 

My fingerprint this week is just pictures... Where we are at the moment.  And what's a blessing is in thirty years I will be able to look back at the pictures and it will kick start all these memories...

Child labor...


39 weeks, 1 day...

Beautiful memories...
Silly girl...

Her eyes...

"I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body..." 2 Peter 1:13 NIV

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

39 weeks... the hard way.

Today it is official.  I am one week from my due date.

And I haven't had much time to think about it.  Last week Josie brought home a nasty head cold.  Friday Sarah really seemed to catch it and by Sunday evening we knew something was up.  A long night Sunday and a doctor appointment Monday and it was confirmed Sarah has croup.  I have been up nights with her and busy days with her just trying to get through it.  I've never had a little one with croup before.  Her cough is better now, not as barky, but the steroid pills they put her on are terrible.  She's cranky, they taste terrible, I'm tired.  It's not a great combination.  She's still really not feeling good but we are seeing some improvement.

Luke worked 15 hours yesterday.  He was literally not home at all.  He's trying to get all the wheat sown way up north.  They just finished section 11 and Tolstrip... on to Barnika's today and back to the farm place tomorrow.  As soon as he's done with that it's time to start picking up the millet they swathed the beginning of the month.  There are three and a half fields, or another three days of work there.  He hasn't been home since Friday when they were able to start sowing wheat again.

We are a little overwhelmed.  I don't like this journal because it sounds like I'm complaining.  Really I'm not, we're blessed.  Blessed to be expecting, blessed that Sarah is strong enough to cough hard and fight this virus, blessed that Luke has work and we are provided for.  The truth is though that we have a lot going on!

Josie is struggling.  Anxiety is something she deals with all the time but lately it's been worse.  She has a hard teacher this year.  Last year she had a very sweet teacher who mothered her, this year her teacher is really pushing personal responsibility.  It is hard for my sensitive, anxious girl some days.  So there's been that too.  We really just need to get through the year with this teacher... and there's a lesson in it for her.  About how it's not always easy with other's in this world.  I just hate to see her worry over school.

 I am so glad that I don't have to worry about Marie getting this virus that Sarah is fighting.  She just couldn't cough.  Then I feel guilty about  being relieved about that because it means she 's not here.  And I miss her and wish she was here but I am so grateful for Heaven...

So we've hit 39 weeks but the last week has been hard. My next doctor appointment is Monday and my due date is Wednesday, the 5th.  I will talk to the doctor about our options for induction if/when I go over my due date.  I have had to be induced with all three of our girls so far as my labors don't progress.  After going nine days over with Sarah I am going to ask they not let me go past 41 weeks this time.  Poor Sarah was starving at birth, her skin was cracked, and there was meconium in her fluid so her lungs were compromised.  She just baked too long and I would like to avoid that with this little one if I can.  That and the hospital is an hour and forty minuets from here so it would be comforting to have some sort of plan. 

Please continue to lift Abigail up in your prayers as she is still fighting pneumonia...


Monday, September 26, 2011

Prayers for Abigail...

Please take a moment of your day and say a prayer for sweet Abigail...  She is sick and fighting the beginning of pneumonia.  Please pray that she do well with treatments, this does not set her little body back, and can avoid getting any sicker. 

Marie was hospitalized for pneumonia and they were some of Luke and I's scariest days.  Thank you so much!!!


Friday, September 23, 2011

38 weeks...

I have been terrible about writing lately.  I am 38 weeks, halfway to 39.  It is amazing to think that soon there will be another baby in this house, soon our family will change again.  This change will be good. 

It has been a hard road.  My emotions have ruled me and I have grieved through this pregnancy even while I have rejoiced.  And soon she'll be here.  I can't wait to meet her.  I am so excited to see what God has in store for this little girl, what she'll look like, how she'll fit in with her sisters.

Luke is back in the field sowing wheat after a weeks break from the rain.  We are hopeful that he can get all the acres in and some spraying done before our new girl arrives.  I don't think we'll get the millet picked up before she gets here though.

Josie and Sarah fought a tummy bug last week.  This week it is some strange cold with a yucky cough.  I hope all of this clears up soon.

We're just busy with day to day.  Busy and excited waiting for our baby.  Laundry, cleaning, making meals, running after little ladies, it all seems to occupy my time so much more these days.  I am blessed by the busy, blessed by the work.  And always, Marie is in our hearts and on our minds.  She would have loved these cooler days... 

This is how God spoke to me this week...  The Resurrection Body...  

But someone may ask, "How are the dead raised? With what kind of body will they come?" How foolish! What you sow does not come to life unless it dies. When you sow, you do not plant the body that will be, but just a seed, perhaps of wheat or of something else. But God gives it a body as he has determined, and to each kind of seed he gives its own body.  All flesh is not the same: Men have one kind of flesh, animals have another, birds another and fish another. There are also heavenly bodies and there are earthly bodies; but the splendor of the heavenly bodies is one kind, and the splendor of the earthly bodies is another. The sun has one kind of splendor, the moon another and the stars another; and star differs from star in splendor. So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable...
1 Corinthians 15:35-42 NIV


Monday, September 19, 2011

Mitochondrial Disease Awareness Week

Mitochondrial Disease Awareness Week is September 18-24. 

Mitochondria are:
  • Tiny organelles found in almost every cell in the body.
  • They are known as the "powerhouse of the cell."
  • They are responsible for creating more than 90% of cellular energy.
  • They are necessary in the body to sustain life and support growth.
  • They are composed of tiny packages of enzymes that turn nutrients into cellular energy
  • Mitochondrial failure causes cell injury that leads to cell death. When multiple organ cells die there is organ failure.

About one in 4,000 children in the United States will develop mitochondrial disease by the age of 10 years.


All families can do is treat symptoms, and try to slow the progression of the disease. 

Marie had Leigh's Disease, it is one of the most severe forms of Mitochondrial Disease.  She fought hard and we are so proud of her... still, there are so many children and adults who are fighting.  It is hard to loose someone to a disease no-one knows about or understands.

Please, in memory of our Little Mama pass along the information about Mitochondrial Disease this week.

You can learn more by visiting MitoAction.

On Wednesday join us in Light a Light for Mito and light a candle in memory of all of those who have fought Mitochondrial Disease and were called Home. 

Every day we miss our Princess... Please join us in the HOPE FOR A CURE!!!

Marie, wide eyed at the Downtown Aquarium in Denver, CO August 2009...


Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Princess Sarah turned two...

Here are a few photos from her party.  It was a beautiful day and she was surrounded by a lot of special people to help her celebrate.  She was also spoiled rotten...

You can download, print, and make the banner yourself here.

I say it all the time, but we really are so blessed to have Sarah Kate in our lives.  Her white blond hair, infectious smile, quick hugs, fiery spirit, and roll with the punches attitude have been such a comfort to us.  God made Sarah Kate something special indeed!


Saturday, September 03, 2011


Last Sunday marked two years.  Two years since Mama flew home. Two years since God stepped in and said "Enough!" and wrapped her in His arms and took her back.  And thank you Father... but it still hurts.

The truth is I am having a really hard time.  I am so very pregnant with this fourth baby, and while that is a huge blessing that I cannot give thanks enough for, it also means my emotions are ruling me right now.  And right now they scream for that child.  I miss her so much.  I miss everything about being around Marie.  I am going to have a baby soon, and the last time I had a baby I lost one.  That sort of messes with your head.  The waves of grief keep rolling in and I am struggling to keep myself above water.  That, along with the day to day business of a second grader, a two year old and a farmer husband and I feel spread thin.

So last weekend we celebrated Sarah, and we grieved Marie.  Sarah's party was Saturday, Sunday in an attempt to get through the day Luke and I decided to take the girls up to the lake.  We loaded up the pickup, and the dog, the coolers, and the chairs and left.  The weather was beautiful, the lake was empty.  We spent the day being together, I prayed a lot and watched my children in the water and it was good.  There were still a lot of tears because how can you not shed tears in missing that baby.  She was really something and we were blessed with two years, five months and twenty five days of Marie...  And even if it had been 100 years it wouldn't have been enough.

Still, there were some mercies last weekend.  I think that God sent us a few amazing gifts...

 On Saturday, Sarah's birthday, it was hard.  Luke and I had to leave Marie that day to go to the hospital for me to be induced.  It broke our hearts to leave.  Since she went Home there have been a lot of butterflies.  Actually, just days after she passed my flowers were covered in literally clouds of monarchs like we have never seen before.  On Saturday there was a huge yellow butterfly on Marie's flowers (Josie picked one of these flowers and put it in Marie's hand before the funeral home took her body away).  It was as though God said "See, she is with Me". 

This spring we planted a crab apple tree for Marie.  One grew at our old house and many hours were spent lying beneath it with her staring up at the branches.  Her little tree had a tough summer.  After we planted it we got seven inches of rain in four days.  Then it got hot and the leaves withered up and a lot of them blew away.  Finally this August the tree seemed to take hold and thrive.  It is a little thing, only about five feet tall.  After Sarah's party Saturday we were cleaning up the back yard and Josie called us over to see this.  One tiny branch on that little tree had bloomed with two snow white flowers.  Just in time for the day of the year that we dread most.  Out of season, there were crab apple blossoms for Marie's anniversary day.
 The plaque we placed beneath her tree.
 Sunday the lake was beautiful.  No wind, no big waves, not too hot.  Just sun and sand and quiet.

Two years... and it's not getting easier.  The waves of grief don't hit as often but when they do they hit just as hard.  We are so grateful that we know where Marie is and we'll see her again.  It just doesn't make being apart right now that much easier.  She was something special and we miss that baby so much.

We love you Isabella...  Little Mama... Rie Rie.