Still here, no baby. :) That said, life goes on. I have a dr appointment tomorrow and I'm still planning on being induced Thursday. At 41 and a half weeks. Whew.
Lots of other things go on too, Josie is loving kindergarten. Me? I'm just shaken every morning when I drop off my shining star and she doesn't need me to walk her in. She throws her backpack on her shoulders, head back, half a smile on her tiny mouth and marches into school like a woman with a purpose. She loves it. I'm glad she does, it makes it easier, but still it's very hard letting her go. She doesn't need me to walk her in to school. How did she get so big so fast?
Marie is doing alright... heavy thoughts there.
She's cutting her two year molars, teething is hell for Marie. Lots of movement issues the last few days, she can't sleep steadily but wakes and arches and grunts and hurts. Tylenol helps, but not with the Dystonia that seems to be worse with this additional stress on her body. She's drooly and so she chokes more, feeding her is more intense. More attention required, and she doesn't feel good and doesn't want to eat by mouth. She chokes and arches and hurts... it sucks.
After bathtime last night Luke mentioned how she's not really kicking anymore. She used to go nuts the moment we laid her on our bed for bath. She'd kick Josie with legs going a mile a minuet, both of them, just kicking for all she was worth. She doesn't do that anymore. When did she stop? How did we miss it? Is she just getting older and big two year old girls don't kick? Is she getting worse? Her legs are floppy most of the time now...
Still she smiles and giggles and is joy. So I'll concentrate on that.
Right. It's so, so, so hard to see changes in my baby. I don't know if I can put into words exactly how it hurts. Her life is formed with purpose, God lets me know that. I just. I just hate.
I just hate how she must suffer so.
So, before I cry I'm going to just focus on good things. Like this.
We went to the county fair one county over. They have the biggest county fair in the state they say. They have a great carnival. Lots of happy times, lots of wonderful pictures. I love this one most.
Isn't he something?
Because Marie is Marie, only God knows what her future holds. She's tiny and floppy and can't hold on. Because she can't hold her head up, or wrap her legs around the pony, Daddy does.
Isn't he something? In Daddy's arms that girl can do anything. How lucky am I to have him?