Wednesday, January 13, 2010


Today I feel tired, defeated, overwhelmed.
Today I have a 4 month old who doesn't feel good and I am getting over the stomach flu myself.
Today I have laundry to fold but won't get it done.
Today I wondered how things are really getting better in our country.
Today the news made me sad.
Today I did yoga and tried to breath deeply but failed.
Today we talked about putting Marie's clothes away.
Today I cried.
Today I can't wait for Josie to get out of school.
I don't know what to make for dinner today.
Today I prayed for people I don't know in a country far away and asked God some hard questions.
I don't expect any answers today, I'm pretty sure He's sad too.
I'm happy it's warm enough to wear my slouchy ripped up jeans today regardless of being a complete fashion disaster.
Today Luke made me smile.
I played with Sarah today.
Today I'm mad about the things I can't change.
I don't think it's fair, today.
I dried tiny tears today after a toy hit Sissy in the face.
I have to go to the market today.
I need to drink more water today.
It's been four and a half months since Marie went home, and just like always I miss her today.  It wasn't so long ago that she was here and I had her to kiss instead of just her picture.
Still, I'm grateful Marie doesn't have to suffer any more today, being sick reminded me of how hard it could be for her.
Today I'm grateful for my husband, because, I am not the strong one today.



The VW's said...

Sorry today is so difficult for you!

Having so many questions and not very many answers can be quite depressing! As can the world be these days!

Love, Hugs and Prayers!!!!!

Nena and Reese said...

Sending you many thoughts of peace and light.

Love, Nena

Anonymous said...

praying for you, today...

Anonymous said...

Hang in there, Shan. I'm Megan's Meemaw. We know what you are feeling. God is with us all, and He does know best. Our little girls are happy and whole...what a miracle! Each day is one day closer to seeing them again. Allow Marie to show you the way every day. Sending my love and prayers,
Pam L.