Friday, April 02, 2010

Random thoughts...

I love, love, love this picture :)  And Easter weekend means I get to spend time with our sweet babysitter B who took such good care of Marie...
Good Friday, Maundy Thursday, Holy Week feels different this year...  The gift means more.  Can't wrap my mind around Him loving me that much but I am so grateful He loved Marie, and Josie, and Sarah that much.

I turned thirty on Wednesday.  I don't really mind, I also don't think my age matches me at all.

Marie was baptized on Easter and there is so much about this time of year that makes me think of her... her birth, her baptism, my birthday and what we did last year, matching Easter dresses last year... she was getting over being sick so Marie and I didn't go to Sunday service last year, we stayed home and played... this Sunday I'll be in church without her... even though this week is about so much more it's filled with memories.

Josie lost an earring in the swimming pool today and came totally unglued... I still am not sure if it's her being a drama queen, she really was that upset, or it's sort of an outlet for how much she misses her sister.

Luke made dinner, reubens... 

I need to go tuck Josie in...

I really am bad about drinking enough water.

There's a lot more but I'm too all over the place to organize the thoughts... It is amazing how missing Marie doesn't decrease with time... I am missing everything about that sweet girl right now and thought I know it's wonderful where she is and she can do so many things without fighting her body anymore it's really hard to be away from her...  I miss that smile, that laugh, those little feet.  I miss saying her name forty times a day, tickling her neck, playing with her curls... I miss holding her hand at night, folding her laundry, washing down her high chair after meals.  I miss silly girls making tents in the living room and hiding together for hours...  I miss how excited to she would get to read books, and how much she loved chocolate... this still feels a lot like a strangers life sometimes...
Photobucket

2 comments:

clarissa said...

hmmm. tried to comment, but it doesn't show up. hope i'm not commenting twice now!
those little feet! we know the kind! the smiles, giggles, handholding at night... all of it, we cherish! with God, you will be strong and get through each day... and you will be with Marie again! Love, hugs, and daily prayers sent your way. May God's Peace be with you this week! Blessed Easter to you and your precious family!

The VW's said...

GREAT PICTURE!!!

I can't even imagine how much you must miss your sweet Marie! Thinking of you and praying!

May you have a Blessed Easter! Love, Hugs and Prayers!

Oh, and Happy Birthday! HUGS!!!