Monday, February 07, 2011


Sometimes I am still completely amazed at the world and how it just keeps turning.  Time marching forward, events of my life pulling me on.  In some ways I want to fight it and stay still, I want to hold close the last time I had Marie and not let it go. 

Then I realize.  There is no benefit in that.  Not for her, not for me, not for the other girls.  I have to move forward... one foot.  In front of the other.

This morning we were driving and I was looking out the window at cold plains, brown grass, frozen trees.  Flying by outside my window and Luke talking, saying something.  The sun shining but still the cold, cold of February.  These brown grasses, they looked this way last year and the year before that. 

They will look brown and dry in the February sun next winter.  Somethings don't change.  The farm fields stretch on and the sky is blue and the wind blows cold.  It doesn't change.  Even though time pulls forward it doesn't change.  And my feelings don't change.  And my love doesn't change.  And His love doesn't change and that.  That is very good.

I am so grateful today the wind doesn't blow like that in Heaven.  Marie will never know the bite of February wind again and for that I am happy.  The wind always stole her breath away...  and I'm comforted that my little girl doesn't feel the wind like I felt today in Heaven.


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