Of course I have many, many things to be grateful for this year... Sarah's here, my Josie is amazing, I have a wonderful husband, good family, amazing friends, Jesus,a beautiful home, a nice car, a (mostly) good dog... so much to be grateful for... I just can't get into it.
Because something happened this year. Something I never fully believed would happen. Something that I cannot get over...
I'm grateful. I know just where Rie Rie is. She's safe, warm, happy, loved... She's just waiting for me in God's big house and someday I'll go in the front door, pick her up, hug my Father and enjoy being home... Someday.
It just seems like a really long time from now. Three months gone this week, Thanksgiving this week, and I blow kisses to Heaven instead of placing them on the softest cheeks you've every felt, instead of kissing that little freckle on her forehead.
I have a lot to be grateful for, most of all the gift of Jesus' salvation. His conquering sin, death, and the devil. Our promise of life eternal and knowing someday "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain..." Revelations 21:4. I really finally get it now. I understand.
The problem is someday isn't today. I miss my kid, I want her now... I have a lot to be thankful for but this year I'm just not feeling it. This year a bad dream came true. My sweet Marie isn't here, so our family isn't really together and we won't be until someday...
I don't like this. Not one little bit. Not at all.