Chocolate and Memories...

I was remembering kisses.  I used to bribe Marie with them to get chores done.  Vacuum house= three kisses, vacuum stairs= one kiss, bake cookies= five kisses plus however many chocolate chips she managed to get Josie to give her, clean bathroom= two kisses.  Rie would hold them on her tongue as the bits of chocolate would melt, she would almost hum "mmmmm".  She would be so excited when we would unwrap the foil.  She knew her chocolate was in there.  We don't buy kisses anymore.

I was remembering how much Rie enjoyed things.  Loved her chocolate, loved mac n cheese, hot dogs.  Loved playing in tents with Josie.  Whatever it was she approached it with the most pure happiness.  And we got to experience that too.  In some ways life was much simpler when Marie was here.  Our good and bad days were based only on how she was doing.  All the other details of life faded into the background.

I do not recall much worry wasted on our bank balance, or on the wheat, or on all these outside things.  Days were good if Marie was good, if she wasn't okay we worried about her.  I am grateful Lord that I no longer have to worry about her... I do miss her like crazy though.

I am so thankful God for memories, remembering is like spending time with her.  I can close my eye and remember her joy in eating bits of Hershey kiss and I am given a few minuets of time with my girl.  I can glance back at Sarah sleeping in the car seat and catch a glimpse of Maire's face as she dreams.  I brush Josie's hair and for a second instead of being the color of ripened wheat it's darker brown and full of ringlets and Little Mama is scowling at me for doing it.   Only for a second, but I am so grateful or the seconds that come, it is like spending time with her.

Thanksgiving was nice, we traveled and it's good to be home.  We got to spend time with my girlfriends from college and it was so good to be there with them.  With their children.  To watch them play...

Sarah has cut those little teeth right in front of the molars, top and bottom. Both came in last week and she was cranky and not sleeping well.  Josie cut her hair off and it's pixie cute.  She looks so grown up with her new hair-do.  I am trying to get my Christmas cards together...

It's been 15 months since I kissed my Rie...  I'm not feeling that raw hurt anymore but my goodness!  Do I ever miss that baby...