Thankful...

This year I feel real gratitude. I can say I am thankful and I can mean it.  Last year I was so lost, my heart was so broken...  This year I am thankful.

I am thankful for the way we have healed in a years time.  It is not a complete healing, there are times when my broken heart aches with a nearly unbearable pain, but it is a better place.

Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.

Jeremiah 17:14

I am thankful for the peace that has taken the place of despair in my heart.  There are times when I feel broken, when despair fills me.  But it is always replaced with the feeling of peace that passes understanding, and I now know exactly how it feels to be carried by my Lord.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 14:27 

I am thankful for my two beautiful girls, Josie and Sarah, who bring me so much joy.  I am humbled that I was trusted with Marie, my princess in Heaven.  From her we were given so much.  I would welcome them all again and again.

I am thankful for the people that have surrounded us in the last year.  Through them we have felt so much love, be carried so many times.  I am so grateful for the friends and family that surround us.

I am thankful every time I hear Sarah say the word "Mama..."  Josie call me "Mom" or sass me with "Mother".  I cannot wait to hear Marie utter that word when I see her in Heaven.

I am thankful for my husband.  I am so blessed that the last year has brought us closer together rather than driving us further apart.  We have God's hand upon us.  Never once has there been a resentment held, a word of blame cast...  Together we have rejoiced at the highest of highs and cried at the lowest of lows.

His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.

Song of Solomon 5:16

This year I am grateful to have grown and matured in my faith as a daughter of God, a woman of Christ.  I am grateful for my Savior who gave His life for me.  I am humbled at the love that I have seen over and over with my own eyes.  I am thankful that traces of doubt have been replaced with conviction, faith, belief in what I am told.

Every day I miss Marie, every day I think of her and what it would be like if she were still here.  I imagine her face at nearly four years old.  How long her hair would be, if her eyes would still be so blue...  In Heaven she is thriving and I am grateful for answered prayers.  He healed her after all, "not my will, but Yours be done", and I try to thank God for it every time I pray.

This year my life is so much different from two years ago.  It is so much more hopeful than last year.  I pray you all have a blessed Thanksgiving.  I have said it before and will say it again, in my life I am BLESSED.

Blessed is she who has believed that what the LORD has said to her will be accomplished!"

Luke 1:45