Saturday, September 05, 2009

Grateful...

Thursday was a beautiful day.  The only morning of the last week not plagued by fog, and Marie's service was just perfect.  Now we're on our own again and trying to get things sorted out.  Everything is the same, but without Rie it feels different.  I have a lot more time on my hands.

I catch myself wanting to pick her up and kiss her face, longing for her but I wouldn't wish her back.  I'll see her again, and for now I'm trying to just stay grateful for the two years, 5 months and 25 days I had of Marie.  Each moment was a blessing.  I'm just trying to stay grateful for holding her as long as I did, for those moments were a gift.  To keep sadness at an arms length, though I'm not always successful.

I'm also grateful for our family, friends and community.  I'm grateful for the meals, the hugs, the cards, the donations that will help Marie live on by good works.  I'm grateful for the fields being worked by good guys.  For the time they're spending to ready ground for sowing in the coming weeks.  Because, though grief has come and muddled up life, the farm won't wait.  She needs her fields tended, the wheat needs sown, and it cannot wait.  It's odd not being sure how to move and being pulled forward anyway.

I'm grateful for Josie and Sarah, they keep me from turning inward and letting darkness swallow me.  They are still here, they are joy and they need me.

Grateful to everyone who cared for us in the last little while, and a huge thank you to those who are working Saturday to help us out.  We are blessed.

Psalm 34:18
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
(thanks Matt)
Photobucket

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

{{{{{Hugs from California}}}}}
Thanks for posting. You are helping reinforce my faith after years of not relying on faith to get me through the trying times. Through Marie's story you are helping the lost souls like myself. Thank you.

Mindy Pfohl said...

Big hugs from the Pfohls! Wish I was closer and could help.

jenniebean87 said...

((hugs))

ANewKindOfPerfect said...

Shannon, your family and all three of your beautiful girls, have not left my thoughts all week. I cannot stop thinking about how peaceful and full of love Marie was, and what an amazing family you all are. I will never forget Marie, even though I never truly "met" her.

I can't wait to see more pictures of the newest Sarah!

FC Management said...

I'm sorry to hear of the passing of your precious little girl. Also,Congratulations on the birth of your new little one.
You are in my thoughts & prayers.
May the Lord strengthen you day by day.

http://fellowshipconnection.proboards.com

Kathy Whitman said...

Luke and Shan-
Congratulations on your new arrival! She is beautiful! Know that you are in my prayers and thoughts-I can't even imagine. I am so moved by your faith and your strength, and it warms my heart to know that your girls have you two as parents and faithful servants of God. God bless, and I love you all!
Kathy

The VW's said...

I'm so glad that Marie's day was perfect! I can only imagine how trying all of this is on you and how much you must miss her, but I can totally understand your not ever wanting to "wish her back." She is where we long to be...the best place!

I've been thinking of you and praying for you often! I pray that God continues to fill your heart and mind with peace, strength and love. Your words and actions are such an inspiration to others during this time! God Bless You! Love and Hugs!!!