A friend of mine posted this on her son's Caring Bridge site... It is amazingly true. Though my day no longer consists of feeding schedules or meds schedules I am haunted by their absence. There is rarely a noon, 5pm, or 9pm that doesn't go by that my thought's aren't "I would be pulling meds right now", "we'd be settling in for a nap right now", "we'd be doing a bolus of water and a Hershey's kiss right now". She was my entire day... I"m still lost without her... Thanks Nena, and if you all can, say some prayers for Reese, and Miss Abigail who has completely stolen my heart, when you see her you will know why...
Being a Mother
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby.
That somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother "normal" is a matter of perspective.
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct.
That somebody never learned how to program a feeding pump.
Somebody said being a mother is boring. . .
That somebody never stood over their child and prayed they would make it through the night.
Somebody said if you're a good mother your children will turn out good.
That somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
Somebody said good mothers never raise their voices.
That somebody never yelled for their husband to, "quick run and get something to catch vomit in."
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother.
That somebody never spent endless hours on the internet researching their child's condition.
Somebody said you can't love an unborn baby as much as you love one that you hold in your arms, that certain things were "meant to be."
That somebody never lost a baby.
Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books.
That somebody has never been handed a diagnosis for which no books have ever been written.
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery.
That somebody never watched her baby get wheeled into the O.R.
Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back.
That somebody never managed a med schedule, feeding schedule, nebulizer schedule, therapy and doctor schedule.
Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home.
That somebody never had children who may never leave home. And if they do leave home, be it a home on earth or to a home in heaven, that child will never stop being a part of a mother's very being.
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her.
That somebody isn't a mother. And that person doesn't know that a child can say volumes with their eyes or body language even if their lips never utter a single word.