Wednesday, October 06, 2010


Today on the drive home from the elementary school I had a heavy heart.  Josie was off to school, Sarah was intent on taking her socks off in the car seat, it is really cool this morning... And it is October, 2010...  The world is different than it used to be.  As much as I try to just count my blessings I sometimes cannot get past the desire to have three little ladies here... A house full of children, too much on my plate.  I want to have noise, messes, three little cheeks to kiss at night and more laundry to do.  I want my baby, I miss my girl.  There's this empty place and my heart hurts.  There is a gap in our family that cannot be filled... And it just is inconceivable that I have not seen her for thirteen months, and that I have years to go.  Because despite how much peace I may have, how I can accept that my child was called home, I am her mother.  And I would prefer to have her here... And then this song came on the radio....

Beautiful (MercyMe)

I think the lyrics are intended for someone older but when I hear those words all I think is Marie.  And God used this song to remind me of how much He loves her too...  I'm sad today, but I'm so glad that Marie is with Jesus...

"You're beautiful
You are meant for so much more than all of this"
"You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His"
"Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You're the one He madly loves
Enough to die..."
"You're beautiful
You're beautiful
In His eyes

You're beautiful

You were meant for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His"
She was always more His than mine after all, I cannot be upset that He would want her there.  This world is so imperfect and can be so cruel, she was made for more... 



clarissa said...

making me cry over here... God will see you through to the end and then welcome you Home to join Marie! I long for heaven.. wish we could all go together...

Jen said...

I needed to read this particular post right now..I woke up feeling it bad today..praise the Lord that both of our girls are so much better of than we are here on Earth..((hugs))

The VW's said...

A Momma's heart could never accept that their child is no longer with them....

When my father-in-law passed away several years ago, his father, who was close to 80 years old, said "This should have been me. I'm not supposed to bury my child. This isn't right." I don't think it matters what age you are.....our children are supposed to be with their parents. And, even though you know that God had bigger and better plans for your sweet Marie, it is so sad and hard to accept!

Marie was definitely made for a greater purpose! I just pray that God gives you continual peace to live each day without her here. Love and Hugs sweet friend!