Beautiful...

Today on the drive home from the elementary school I had a heavy heart.  Josie was off to school, Sarah was intent on taking her socks off in the car seat, it is really cool this morning... And it is October, 2010...  The world is different than it used to be.  As much as I try to just count my blessings I sometimes cannot get past the desire to have three little ladies here... A house full of children, too much on my plate.  I want to have noise, messes, three little cheeks to kiss at night and more laundry to do.  I want my baby, I miss my girl.  There's this empty place and my heart hurts.  There is a gap in our family that cannot be filled... And it just is inconceivable that I have not seen her for thirteen months, and that I have years to go.  Because despite how much peace I may have, how I can accept that my child was called home, I am her mother.  And I would prefer to have her here... And then this song came on the radio....

Beautiful (MercyMe)

I think the lyrics are intended for someone older but when I hear those words all I think is Marie.  And God used this song to remind me of how much He loves her too...  I'm sad today, but I'm so glad that Marie is with Jesus...

"You're beautiful
You are meant for so much more than all of this"

"You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His"

"Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You're the one He madly loves
Enough to die..."

"You're beautiful
You're beautiful
In His eyes

You're beautiful
You were meant for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His"

She was always more His than mine after all, I cannot be upset that He would want her there.  This world is so imperfect and can be so cruel, she was made for more...