Thursday, August 07, 2008

191th post...

Crazy huh? I cannot believe I have 190 posts on this blog to my name. 180 entries of our life, our thoughts, our hopes and fears. A large portion are from "after".

I can divide my life into two parts. Before, before we knew Marie was sick. Back then I was more carefree, I laughed easier, I thought of the future, I grew bored with my life sometimes. Before, I was not so patient, I looked more rested. Before, I had time to go to the gym. I thought about going to concerts, going on vacation. Before, my biggest fear was loosing a child. Before, Luke and I fought about stupid things. Before, I cleaned my house more. Before, I freaked out if toys were all over the place. Before, I didn't know God as well.

Now, in the after. As in, after Marie was diagnosed. After, I worry more, but I appreciate more. I don't get bored with my life anymore, rather, I'm thankful for days that are a little dull. After, I have more patience, and I've learned I am stronger than I would have ever believed. After, I am more confident in myself, and my ability to be a mother. I am more tired. After, I don't go to the gym, I do yoga with Josie and count it as working out! After, I don't care much about the outside world. My life is lived in moments, and you cannot believe how sweet the good moments are. After... my biggest fear is having my child suffer for a long time. After, Luke and I are closer now than we ever have been. We don't fight about much anymore, and never stupid things. After, my house is a mess sometimes but it is a comfortable house. Toys all over the place means we've been having fun. Now, I know my God and Savior so much better, and I ache to know Him better still.

So, most of my posts are from after. I think that in a way, my life is fuller and better now than it was before. I know what matters, I know who matters. I know who my friends really are and I treasure the old ones that I still have with me. I also feel so blessed to have my new friends, people that are recent additions.

So, in honor of my 180th post, here are 20 things I betcha didn't know about me!

1. I am terrified of my basement at night. It's irrational, but I am convinced people are hiding down there just waiting to get me.

2. Nothing grosses me out more than stinky dishrags and musty towels.

3. Nothing more than hair anyway. I cannot stand stray hairs.

4. I have stretch marks. They are crazy bad and go from the top of my thighs all the way up. I think it's okay, I get tan enough I don't think you can notice. I call them tiger stripes.

5. My favorite food is lasagna made with bread and eggplant instead of noodles. I cannot get enough.

6. I get dorky excited about trying new recipes.

7. I would like to be sophisticated and know about wine, which ones are good, and go with what. However, at the end of the day I am a beer girl. Give me a nice cold one and a bowl of pretzels and I'm happy.

8. I love my hair color, it's all natural. I'm a little vain about it. It gets darker every time I get pregnant, and the older I get the more bizarre curly hairs I have throughout. By the time I go grey there's a chance I might look like Einstein.

9. I weigh more than everyone thinks I do. Luckily, at 5' 10" I can pull it off.

10. I have really big feet. Size 11 actually. Luke and I can wear each other's shoes.

11. I don't like gold jewellery. Only silver, I don't know why.

12. My middle name is Allison. My mother's middle name is Allison. It's after my Grandfather, who's middle name was Allen. That makes my initals SAS, Luke say's its fitting because I can be a little sassy.

13. Green is my favorite color, but I like blue and yellow just as much.

14. I knew Luke for 3 years before I even gave him a second thought. All that time he patiently kept trying to get me to talk to him.

15. My brother is nicknamed Mickey. When my sisters and I were younger we would torment him and sing "Hey Mickey you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, Hey Mickey!"

16. Rockey Road is my favorite kind of ice cream.

17. I am terrified of wasps.

18. If Josie was a boy we would have named her Jeffrey Allen. If Marie was a boy her name would have been Waylon James.

19. My favorite song is "Coming Home to You" by Robert Earl Keen. A close second is "Flowers" by Cross Canadian Ragweed (it's the song Luke and I danced to at our wedding).

20. I don't drink pop except for special occasions, and then, only sprite.


2awesomekidz said...

This is great. Great to know more about you!! We have alot in common!
Give big hugs and kisses to the kids!

Michaelene said...

What a wonderful post! And guess what? Doing yoga with Josie (after) IS indeed working out!!

Ok, ok so I love the 20 things ... I'm telling you what, we are soul sisters. I can't believe how TALL you are!! And, knowing about wine has nothing to do with sophistication ... those that know wine, just consume it way too much :) Although, last night we went to the Coyote Cantina for drinks and apps and I had about 3 prickly pear margaritas ... they were unbelievably easy on the eyes and the body -- they were soooooo good!
This is really fun - thank you for sharing so much about your sweet life! Hugs and smoochies to those beautiful girls xxxoooo

Holly said...

I love it! I love you! I love your kids! I even love Luke!! and Uncle Mickey!! :) Thank you for sharing you life with us.

nat :) said...

shan im scared of the non existent people in my basement too
what is it with those people...they wont go away D:

Susie said...

Well, in response to your 20 things, I now wear size 11 shoes, and I'm only 5'9"! But Ryan wears size 13 (no wonder Jared and Zach have gigantic feet!) so I can't borrow his shoes. But I can borrow his pants, if I roll up the bottom. On a skinny day (isn't that sick?)
I weigh more than Ryan thinks, too. I weigh the same as him, and he's lots taller! But I always have (he's gained weight as I have--it's not fair that he still looks skinny!)
I only wear silver jewelry, too, and I have no idea, either. Maybe it's a skin tone thing? I don't think it looks good on me.
And basements TOTALLY freak me out, too. I felt your fear as I read your post.

And about the rest of your post, life sure is hard. But it teaches you what you need to know. My life has been pretty tough recently, too, and I, too, feel like I know God better than I did before. I never knew I could learn so much, or feel so much pain. Although sometimes I long for a life without trials, I know that it would be worthless.
Hang in there, you're doing great! Even when you don't feel like you are.

DESJ and Company said...

Hi there...I drifted to your blog (I believe by way of My New Normal and then from someone else) and have read back the entire story of your sweet Marie. I too have a child with a genetic disease. Your strength and grace is inspirational.
-Sara Porush